Tales of the sons of Agni, Tui and La
by beartes
Summary: Drabbles. AU. In which Prince Zuko is exiled due to a very different reason, they are all older (Point of Reference: Aang is 16) and at the North Pole, Sokka finds a different girl under the dutiful princess.
1. Yue I

Sometimes, when the sea is calm and the sun is hiding behind his waves, Yue affords herself the luxury of remembering. She has seen 20 years and only one of those was far from the North Pole, of her home and yet that year is the one that marks her the most. When she was fifteen, young, naive and scared of the big, bad World, an unexpected alliance was made. She is not fool enough to say that it gave her people hope, for it was too biter for such a benevolent feeling. However, it gave them time.

How fitting that such a weird cooperation was done with a planned betrayal on both sides. How ironic that those most involved were the ignorant pawns played on the whims of others. How surprising that she found companionship there, of all places. How tragic was the endeavor doomed to fail. They were truly, at the end, a tragic pair.

A bittersweet smile finds a home on her face. There is a reason for her dislike of those memories. They always leave her empty, fighting a loneliness that has no place seeking that particular person to soothe her, a person that could never reach her again. But on nights like those, she can't and won't resist the pull of her heart. It's not every day you hear the new of your incoming nuptials, after all.

Some part of her tells her that she should feel grateful because she can regain her honor, like he-.

Except she doesn't care about honor anymore. Hers was sacrificed for the best of her people, like a loyal polar-dog killed by the hand who nurtured it so its owners can survive the harsh winter. _His_ -Well, her opinion doesn't seem to matter in more issues and all that one ever earned her was a grim laugh and a harsh reply. She doesn't even care about tradition or positions of power. No anymora

(More than anything, she fears both)

So she watches the sun sets and remembers a promise, full of foreign beliefs and traditions and denied by all of hers. And she looks back at the short time that it was true. Then, she smiles.

(It tastes like a farewell, bitter and unwelcome on her tongue. She doesn't stop smiling until the sun is completely gone)


	2. Zuko I

Sometimes, when the sky is clear and the moon full, the crew can find their scarred Prince looking at the sky with a solemn sadness surrounding him. The first sighting of such fennomenon is always followed by dumbfounded shock. Surely, their angry, honor-obsessed, loud-and-way-too-bitter prince cannot be that too-still person. It creeps them out, for if it weren't for the sadness only present in his eyes, they would think him aa a man at peace.

Prince Zuko, son of FireLord Ozai, is the farthest thing from a man at peace with himself and they all know it.

The Angry Dragon, they call him. The unfortunate nickname was born at a night at port, when, in a rare generous mood, the prince gave them a free night. After a few drinks and more than a few shared stories, inspiration struck and the nickname stayed. If the men are being honest with themselves, they know that their prince is not a bad commander. Strict and intolerant of a lot of things, sure, but just. He cares for them, in his weird, twisted way. No matter how many times a disaster awaits them, he will stay and fight until the last man is safe.

It's a novel feeling, to have a commander who _cares_. Almost foreign

They all had had bad leaders giving them orders and they had all suffered from it. Insubordination is the reason they majority is there, in a fool's errand, a band of misfits for their shamed prince. And he knew it. The beginning of their journey was not easy, but a group of scoundrels and misfits was made into a crew by a royal, if shamed, hand, and they're grateful. However, if all Fire Nation have one thing in common is their stubborn ways. They may respect an even admire their exiled prince, they may be more loyal to him than to any other superior officer and maybe, Agni forgive them, even to the Dragon Throne, but they will never show it..

So they watch over their desolate prince on full moon nights, and never interrupt him. In a ship privacy is a hard thing to get, so they will give their prince his. It's the least (And the most) they could do.


	3. Yue II

His name is Hahn. He is older than her, 23, a recognized warrior of the Tribe. He is slick, lustful and arrogant. He is considered handsome, strong and loyal, a good match by everyone standards. Yue's standard, however, finds him lacking. He is cold, his smile is not sincere enough, he is not who she- Yet again, Yue knows her duty. Her happiness is gone, her hope, if not dead, is hidden, her dreams impossible and her honor a joke that nobody dares to tell. A dutiful daughter is all she has left, so she will be one.

(She stills remember whispered words, small thoughtful kindnesses and a bashful demeanor. She'd rather not)

He gives her a necklace, blue, elegant and artfully done and smiles with promises of pleasure. He puts it on her neck, caresses following the path of his fingers. Yue shivers and he misunderstands the gesture. He bows before her, a sign of her station and leaves without looking back, a smug curve on his lips and an extra flair on his movements. She would like to frown at his back but people are watching (as always) so she maintains her serenity.

The necklace is perfect, pure water-tribe and praised by everyone who see it. She traces the pleasant curves craved into the gem and remembers another, one that is made by clumsy hands and a clumsy heart but earnest eyes. She never got to wear that one and when she touches the blue, beautiful stone, wishes for the unskillful one. She is plagued by guilt for her desires yet finds a strange comfort in them.

(When, at night, a part of herself despairs at what would happen when _he_ sees her again, now that she is chained, well-

She knows that _he_ won't see her. Instead of comfort, the thought only leaves her cold, vulnerable against the loneliness crawling at her chest. Even _if_ he does, she reminded herself, it wouldn't be in your terms, much less on favorable ones.)

The engagement will be long -the last mercy from her father. So she waits with an agonizing heart and treasonous feelings, not even daring of dreaming for freedom

She is dammed but her chin is raised high. She is a princess and even when she's broken, nobody will see that. Nobody can.

(She looks back at the time when there wasn't mercy, when she didn't need it. When _he_ taught her-

She'll endure. She has to.)

She is Yue, princess of the North Water Tribe, blessed by the Moon herself. She has faced worse than a boy playing to be a man. He would not make her cower.


	4. Zuko II

Zuko remembers her best when the sky is clear and crowned with a full moon, stars creating a mirror on the sea. It's not an habit. Normally he would avoid all reminders of her, wary of the bitter taste of his tongue afterwards. Yet, some nights he allows himself the simple pleasure of their memories together. He doesn't want to forget, even if she left him (But no, she never did. He's not being fair and he knows it. He just _doesn't_ care) Even if her mere presence was a humiliation, a defeat.

Because some part of him is convinced that she cared about him. That she still cares. Zuko has came to realize that, in his life, love was the esception, not the rule.

His own father doesn't love him. Zuko knows that. He has known since he was ten years old and his mother disappeared into the night, maybe even before. He didn't, _couldn't_ , believe it at first –he was his father and he loved him. Maybe he didn't show it because Zuko was a failure, maybe because Azula was better at all things important, maybe because he was too ashamed. And so, for a very long time, Zuko thought that if his father couldn't love him, it was his fault.

(It wasn't. Not really. Even when he can't completely believe it yet)

He still thinks that, sometimes. Most of the time, her memory chases the nightmares away. The exotic, foreign bride who saw past the harsh exterior, the bold scar and the furious flame. (The kind, selfless stranger that looked through the shame and many misgivings and found something worthy. He still doesn't understand what. Maybe he never will) Other times, Zuko hates her for it.

He earns his first scar at thirteen. He just got into the war council. He wanted to be a better prince, with a better understanding of war and strategy. Then he heard about that awful plan of sacrificing new non-bender recruits for a shallow victory and only his uncle hand, firmly grasping his arm, kept him for speaking up. For a while. He was a prince responsible of his people; he foolishly thought his father would see his point.

(He didn't. Zuko learned that day that the only council his Father seeks and accepts is from FireLord Ozai. To ever think you know better that him is blasphemy and must be accordingly dealed with.)

Of course, his father heard him out. Of course he did. And then he smiled, that awful, cruel, cold smile of his and told him that if he was so worried about that squad he could command them into battle himself. Zuko didn't even doubt for a moment- he agreed. He was always the foolest when trying to do some good. He was oh-so-scared but his people needed him. He was the commander of that squad and if he didn't lead them to battle, nobody will.

So he did. He went, green as a pickle and twice as naïve, full of hopes and pride. Maybe, _maybe_ he could save some of them, if not all.

He was such a fool.

(He was sent to his _death._ Like he was nothing, a little bother of a prince whose better course of action would be to kill himself in war so the Fire Nation had more fuel to expand their war. Becoming a martyr would be the best thing he could do for his people. Azula never lets him forget it)

Of the 500 soldiers that he led to battle (If you could call a massacre that) only 29 came back. Twenty-nine men. They only survived because Zuko was a coward, calling them back when he knew they couldn't win. That move almost cost the Fire Army the victory. (You can't even die right, his sister would taunt him later, how typical of Zuzu) His father was not happy with him. But the memories, the battle itself, was the worst. Zuko stills have nightmares about faceless non-human enemies, about a ground that could swallow you at any given time, about pain-filled cries and blood puddles.

(But they were oh-so-human and he…They…Zuko hates them so much more for his inability to fully despise them)

That day was the first day he killed. He doesn't remember their faces, or how many they were or even if there were friend or foe. Only the awful smell of charred flesh and men gone up in flames and their agony-filled screams remains. Above it, horror and nausea rising through his burned throat. If he spends enough time fixed in the memory, he can still taste the vomit in his mouth when he realized that he has to keep fighting, keep killing or his men will die and it will be _his fault_. He was the youngest one there but, looking back, they were all teenagers, barely eighteen, no more than 25.

Only twenty-nine retturned home.

Only one remains at his side. Gen-Tae - Zuko doesn't understand why the man is so loyal when he led him to a sure death but is too tired to question it now. He just will follow him, no matter what. Loyalty is such a strange thing. Such a precious gift -he can't help but feel grateful.

(He didn't understand _her_ , either, but he knows that kindness like hers was a gift that he didn't deserve, that he couldn't keep. So of course he didn't)

As always with him, there was a mark left by the experience. As if he could forget it without the remainder.

The scar is a small thing, a ragged line across his back, maybe too near of his column to comfort, but easy to miss if you aren't looking. It looks insignificant compared with more obvious one and he didn't even remebers getting it. But it's there, _on his back,_ almost as if it was from the soldiers behind him and not his enemies, always kept under watch.

A lot of days he can't sleep. The cries of hundred of men won't let him. She helped with that, somehow. So, every other month he stops at the middle of the deck and watches the full moon, so much like _her_ , and he lets himself feel. Not the bad, even when the bad is always with him, but the good. Her smile, small at the beginning and shared after a time. Her laugh, so free, so loud. Her soft hands on his skin, the feel of her whispered words, of her hair droping from her shoulders to his, of her sparkling eyes. He lets himself feel them all for a night -he almost believes, for a moment, that she is with him, and somehow a smile would form on his face, even when he had'nt grinned in weeks.

Then, Agni show himself from the east and Zuko faces a new day. (Without her)


	5. Yue III

She is named a miracle since the moment of her birth. Blessed by the Great Spirits, the whispers follow her first steps. They watch her with searching eyes, waiting for a sign. Of course, if she's blessed, that means she's special. Different

Better.

(She isn't.)

She is a Princess. She has to be lady-like, perfect on every occasion. Her voice must never be raised, never be used in anger. Her posture must be as demure and submissive as superior, as a sign of her social standing. Her appearance polished and studied –only the best of the best for their blessed princess.

(Every day of her life, she has felt caged –she is a doll, played by all other in a play she never had the script of)

She has no friends. She has servants, handmaidens, admirers, tutors, parents. She listens and she asks and she listens some more. She learns about every one of them –she can't really live, in her shiny tower of ice so she will have to live through them. Every little tale, every little joke or riddle or saying is carefully filed and stored in her mind.

She knows about every activity of the Tribe and has experience at none. She wouldn't even know if she is capable of them.

At the age of eight, she knows she will never waterbend. It's a dream of hers, that of waterbending. Fitting, for the one blessed by the moon herself. A little liberty that she will never achieve. A connection with the sea she will never have. A skill she doesn't possess.

She can't heal nor help her people. She can't be useful. So she will be perfect-

She is. Soft-spoken, demure and modest, a perfect princess.

(Sometimes she wonders when she lost her drive. If she could ever find it again. If she ever had one.)

Her life is purposeless, empty and she has resigned herself to it. It may look cruel to some, maybe even cowardly, like giving up without a fight but she disagrees. Yue wears her chains with grace. Because at the end of the day everyone only sees jewels, privileges and blessings so Yue, who knows so little, who lives so quietly, must be in the wrong.

(Then he stumbles in her life, unexpected, clumsy and full of a warmth so easily flung on her hand that sometimes she fears being burned. And she was. Now an empty life, her life by all rights, is insufferable)


	6. Zuko III

The second scar, he gains no long after.

He comes home after the battle, hurt but alive (Not whole, never whole. He is a puzzle with more and more missing pieces and every person that leaves him carries one. Lu Ten. Mother. His little, almost dead division. Uncle. Her) and a stone-faced Firelord awaits him. 'Yet again' He says 'You've disappointed me'

He was too numb to cry by then but the words haunt him. Like his little sister's cold satisfied smirk haunts him

(But Uncle embraces him, warm and strong, and tells him how grateful he is to see him again. That haunts him too, because, how selfish could he be? He almost left Uncle alone. After Lu Ten he promised himself he wouldn't let that happen.)

The next time he saw his father was at the Agni Kai's arena, after some angry words at an indifferent idiot general that should have never got so high in the food chain. The first hysterical thought that comes to him when he appears instead of the old general is that he is lost. The second, third and twentieth ones were 'this cannot be happening'. He surrenders, he begs and he is punched in the face.

With fire.

(He also has nightmares about that day. He still flinches every single time his father firebends. Because he's burned, shamed. Because he's so afraid of fire, of breathing the same thing that caused him so much pain.)

When he woke up, it was to his suddenly gray Uncle uncomfortably sleeping in one of the chairs at his bedside and a bored sister looking at her nails at the other side. When she noticed he was awake, delight and cruelty mixed in equal parts on her face.

(Zuko likes to think that her shoulders relaxed with relief. He never finds the courage to ask. Even if he did, he knows what the response will be)

She told him a story, of a too weak prince full of foolish dreams and with too big shoes to fill. He told him how he was stupid and didn't understand how the war was fought and made a lot of mistakes. However, his Father was forgiving and just so he gave the foolish prince another chance, a battle. He told him about how the idiot prince shamed his country and killed his men with his incompetence, about how he came back to the palace; acting as if his failure didn't happen and hoped that everything would forget the incident. He told him about how his Father again decided to forgive him. About how the foolish prince blamed his failure to an esteemed general and challenged him to a duel. How the Father, respected leader of their country, had to put an end to his son's actions and faced him instead. How the weak prince shamed himself and his line with his underperformance and, with a heavy heart, his father taught him a lesson. How that foolish prince history is known through the land.

She ended her visit congratulating him, as smug as ever. Now he too, like Uncle, can say he has a nickname known more than his name in the Fire Nation –the Failure Prince.

His second scar is huge, ugly and a furious red no matter how much time pass. He is fourteen when he can finally get that itchy bandage off and immediately wishes he hadn't. One eye permanently glaring, half a face burned –how weak of a firebender must you be, it says, to have yourself burned so blatantly- a lot of hair gone and what little is left of his ear.

He is hideous.

(In my culture scars are only a sign that you survived. All warriors wear them proudly -she said that, once.

He almost believed her)

He doesn't speak out at the war council after that. Nor does he ever contradict his father again. He doesn't remember smiling much, either. He is angry, furious, with a beast within his chest roaring and clawing at him at every moment of the day to get out. But he is so still at moments it bursts, escapes his painful control, exploding in humiliating fits of rage that confirm every prediction his father has ever made of him.

(He learns the swords because bending hurts him; because bending is no longer a part of himself, not even a tool. Bendings is dying. Again and again, with every breath.

It is a foolish thing to do. He is shamed, unfit to lead. What kind of FireLord would refuse Agni's power and try to learn the uncivilized weapons? They are for the weak, no matter how skilled.)

He goes to the front lines at fifteen and spends the next two years painting a red, red, red path of destruction and death. He is the Failure Prince, condemned to never rise to the royal rank of a general (Like it's his right) but he has never lost a battle. At least not for long. He laid sieges on city like an avalanche of elephant-rhinos and he won't stop.

He can't stop.


	7. Yue IV

She knows she will never marry for love when she is twelve.

At this, like at most things, she isn't given a choice. In a rare show of defiance, she asks why. No answer satisfies her. Nor that of her loving mother or her gentle father, not even the wise Master Pakku can supply one. However, Master Yugoda, the Head healer, explains how things work in the Tribe.

Gender comes with expectations. Men fight and women breed. Men rule and women obey. Men plan and women heal. Yue is a girl, not yet a woman, and she has to accept the truth of the world, the future that awaits her. She is to obey, to submit herself to the will of Men and have healthy children to guarantee the Tribe survival.

She stills doesn't understand but she is informed enough that she doesn't question it. In most matters, she learns, women don't have a voice. It's confusing. She is the daughter of the leader of the Tribe and will govern it after her father. Only she isn't going to, her husband is. Even at twelve, she knows it isn't fair. Or maybe she does because she's twelve, not yet bitter enough to accept the ugliness of the world and naive enough to defy it

(But Yue, for all she tries, is not a fighter. She would have given up once married, resigned herself to a pretty wife with blue blood. She would have, have it not been _him_. For that and many things, she's grateful)

She doesn't like what she hears but before leaving, angry and teenager and foolish, Master Yugoda gifts her with a small wisdom. _In most matters in life_ , she told her, _you don't get to choose. Nonetheless, you can always choose how to react. React well my princess_ , she remarked. Yue knows wisdom is found in the riddles the master tends to tell the young. She chooses to meditate on her words.

She thinks onwards and backward, left and right, up and down, about who is she in her Tribe, who is she supposed to be, what can she do. What she cannot do. She thinks for two days and one night and realizes:

Push and Pull.

She wasn't blessed by the ocean, by the power and might of his waters. She was blessed by the Moon, the pretty light in the night sky that moves the ocean. The one that dictates the tides. And yet, her prowess cannot be seen.

So hers won't, too. She will be the hand that guides the force, the voice that whispers instructions, the advice given in secrecy religiously followed. She will be wise and patient, constant and assured. Water is the power of adaptability but it always follows the Moon. She is water blessed by the spirits and she will not be cowed by social norms.

Maybe she cannot choose her fate but she very well can shape it once it's given. Yue is the princess of the Northen Water Tribe, born to greatness and given life by the Moon herself. Shaping her destiny isn't out of her reach. It's her right.

(Tui and La commend her, she has found her drive and there's no force in the universe capable of taking it from her)


	8. Zuko IV

He is sixteen and he thinks he knows the Earth Kingdom better than the Fire Nation. He had his Uncle at his side until the night he found out where his true loyalties lied. He is left shocked, emptier, betrayed. His uncle talks and talks with urgency, something that only much later Zuko will identify as desperation. He tells him about secrets, about balance and spirits and legends. Zuko doesn't hear a word.

He is angry. He is betrayed. He is hurt and ashamed he trusted another so foolishly again. Logically, he shouts. He accuses and blames until his throat is sore and he can't even remember the words said, only his Uncle stricken face. Then, he deflates. Iroh doesn't say anything, only looks at him with those understanding eyes and Zuko feels all his resolve break. He is defeated that day.

(Like the aftermath of the Agni Kai, it only makes him feel numb)

He lets him go, declares his death (Poison on his tea, he thinks is fitting) and has been alone since. Only Geun-Tae remains, forcefully cheerful and loyal and fierce. Zuko doesn't deserve him. Geun-Tae refuses joyfully all promotion and makes a fool of himself to stop the offers. Somehow, it works.

There's a pest with a blue mask inside his camps, some men said he was cursed with him because of the sins of his terrible destructive line, or the price of his failures. Other men whispers about a traitor between them. It's a mystery, one nobody wants to really solve for all they argue and a distraction. Some sort of war hero would say the Earth prisoners.

It's not. It's him. He frees some prisoners and helps Earth Kingdom families when he can. He tries, treason or not, to help those he hurt. It's a great weakness of his, that treasonous compassion, so he hides it. It's a futile effort, so he never takes credit-but sometimes, sometimes they thank him. A genuine gesture accompanied by overwhelmed cries and hopeful grins.

(It first started with a boy. A little, scared, broken but brave little soul. He defied him, he accused him, he insulted him and threw pebbles to his scar...he was going to be executed. But one smile, one flimsy insignificant expression on his dirty little face and Zuko's resolve broke.

He saves him in secret and when his identity is revealed, receives a spat for his troubles. Somehow, it doesn't surprise him.)

Sometimes, when he betrays everything he was supposed to be, when Geun-Tae loudly remarks on his playboy ways, winking at him in the most obvious way possible- that man doesn't have a single discrete bone in his body- sometimes, after being another, Zuko doesn't feel so empty.

Sometimes, it's enough.


	9. Yue V

Yue finds the hard way that shaping a future is way tougher than it sounds. It also is immoral for a woman to try, if legends are to be believed.

She is striving to become one of those females, those seductive manipulating sharp and powerful women, the witches that snare men to do their biddings. The villains in all children stories. The hated wrenches little girls are taught to hate and never become.

(Yue would like to say it doesn't affect her and she doesn't waver after the realization. But that would be a lie.

She does.

Yue was always the good daughter, an exemplary princess and the role of a merciless witch is foreign and unwanted. Her morals must be sacrificed for her goals and she just...she doesn't agree, doesn't see how power could change her so much but leave all men untouched. Some would say it's a just price to pay for her greed.

Yue thinks there's nothing just in an unfair situation, to begin with)

She has to learn to manipulate, to hide true intentions behind emotional frailty, use deceptive weaknesses to her own concealed purposes. She has to submit her pride to the cause, becoming submissive and meek. She has to master words. Master body language. Master looks and mannerism and smiles. Master herself. Put a mask before her Tribe, mislead them every day, just so she can _do something_ useful.

(She has to toe with treason every day, defying the role her father has wished of her. She has to take every single value her people are proud of, every Tradition that has shaped her and...just, disregard them. Ignore them. Shame her own beliefs for ambition.

Is she selfish enough, arrogant enough to do that?

Yue doesn't think so. However, she is desperate enough, spiteful enough behind her docility to try. Her birthright is to rule, her blood is those of leaders and chiefs. Even then, she is found unfit just because she is a _she._ That, she cannot accept.)

She must give orders in compliments and shallow comments, in contemplative little remarks that must be taken as the root of action, as the basis of a plan. She must lead behind the scenes, become the writer of the script she will play all her life. Above all, Yue must be informed. Of everything and anything. Information is power, Master Pakku said once.

(Not to her, of course. Master Pakku has always seen her as an ornament at best and an inconvenience at worst. Insignificant but there, easy to ignore and overlook. Yue must find a way to take advantage of this, too.)

Yue finds, surprised, that being a princess already covered more than half of the way. She is already all those, she has all the requirements needed. She is docile, quiet, overlooked and yet revered. She meets and talks with all the little figures who carelessly share with their kind princess and a secret kind smile the little secrets of her palace. _Such a kind little girl_ , she almost can hear them thinking, _so curious and worried about the well-being of her subjects_. _How can we not indulge her in this little thing?_ they ask themselves with fondness.

With a purpose in mind, all is so terrifyingly easy Yue almost despairs. She chooses to smile to herself, instead. Mysterious and coy, the smile of a kind ruler.

(Of a true Liar)


	10. Zuko V

Zuko has known war and death but only has a short experience with flesh.

(Clumsy, she called him, all amused eyes and warm grins and Zuko never wanted to forgive her face, or her voice -like he did with Mother's, like he did with Uncle's- but he will the longer he is away from her.

One day he will wake, and the shade of her eyes would be the same as the sky, as the sea, not their own shade. White silk and cat-owl's hide will be her hair but not quite enough. Gold and brown would be her skin but never hers. Zuko brain will play with him, just like his sister, and he will forget. Intangible and blurry, she will be lost to him)

He has had three lovers, only one of them was from the Fire Nation. His sister ordered-he never got proof but he knew, he knew they were not coincidences- the death of the other two. One was a healer and the other one a refugee, both of them peasants he should have ignored but didn't.

(One has horrible burns that paint an even more horrible experience but was still kind. Taken by force, hurt and yet so kind. Zuko knew anger, knew hurt and rage and horrible feelings choking you from the inside. But she was kinder because of her pain and that took guts. A strength Zuko didn't know existed till her. So forgiving and sweet.

Song was her name. She couldn't hit a note right even if you paid her)

He was weak and they paid for his mistakes in blood

(One shined with a light that did not burn and smiled like a child. She knew of cruelty, of unfairness and war and yet was untouched inside. Always playing, teasing, laughing not because life was a game but because it wasn't. Because it was terrible and vicious but she will not be like that. Because she chose to laugh and look at the good side of things, and when there wasn't one, she would make it.

She was called Jin. She cried in his arms so softly, so brokenly in the dead of the night)

Their deaths weight on him. Of course, by then he has too many dead on his shoulders. Theirs add to it and fade within as the time pass in the mass of regrets he carries. He is called back home

(He is broken, full of regret and 'What if's and 'I should have's. He is empty, and somehow every day that passes takes something from him. The anger has long since burned out and now he is the ashes of all the things his Nation burned down)

He is called, so he comes.

He comes home to the same stone-faced father and cruel cold smirking sister he remembers on his nightmares and both of their eyes are mocking him. He doesn't react. They congratulate him on his victories and made them sound like defeats while ignoring all the death their ambition causes. He doesn't react. They told him about how things have progressed at home, how they can feel the war drawing to an end, an absolute victory. He wants to sigh or maybe scream but doesn't. They talk about alliances and weddings. His.

He reacts.

(And oh, how it pains him to see that smug little smile on his sister's face. As if he knew he would fail, again, as if goading him is her favorite pastime)

(As in relief because there's the Zuko she knows, and there's the brother she-

Zuko can't think about that, he can't think like that, he just can't-

On that path lies madness)

The Firelord talks about what it's expected of princes, about obedience and loyalty and Zuko wants to punch him in the face and cower at his feet at the same time. He acquiesces as if there was a choice. He will be wed at two months' time, isn't it wonderful?

His bride-to-be is Water Tribe. Water Tribe. It felt like a slap in his face. On the left side (But not the final hit, never the last one because what else does he has? Mother left him a long time ago and Uncle- Uncle, who said he was always welcome at his side, left him too and somehow, that's worse. He only has slaps and burned flesh- and, apparently, a barbarian wife-to-be that finally can throw him off the Line for the Crown) All his life he has fought. Against conceptions of him not being a firebender, against constant failure, against a prodigy malicious sister, against assassins and machinations to end his life. Against himself, against his morals and fears and weaknesses.

All his life he has followed the motto 'never give up without a fight'

But now, now the fight has been extirpated out of him because he is marrying a Water Tribe woman and, even if she's a princess at her home, he can never be the Firelord. Not if his FireLady is a foreigner, a barbaric peasant of that damned water primitive savages. He can never fulfill his destiny. He has failed.

Everything he has ever believed in, he has failed. Everyone who has ever believed in him, he has failed.

(But then, why does defeat taste so much like sweet, sweet relief?)

That night, Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, Son of Lady Ursa and Firelord Ozai, is broken down into little insignificant pieces.

The sun rises in the morning, breakfast arrives and Zuko gets up. Life continues as if it didn't happen.

(Like it always has)


End file.
